Haven't had time to come up with anything witty lately... but I saw this on a blog of a friend of mine so I did it for myself. Try it and let me know what you get.
This is a MP3 Player game... and quite hilarious! Try it for yourself and see! (And yes, all of my answers below are completely legit, and are actually order in which my songs came up on my Zen)
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your MP3 Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
If someone says "Is this okay?" you say?
Criminal (Fiona Apple)
What would best describe your personality?
There is A light that never goes out (Anberlin)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
Bottom Line (77's)
How do you feel today?
It's Beginning to get to me (Snow Patrol)
What is your life's purpose?
On Top (The Killers)
What is your motto?
Spaceman7 (Mike Roe and Mark Harmon)
What do your friends think of you?
Honey Run (Mike Roe)
What do you think about very often?
Who owns you (White Heart)
What is 2+2?
Tell Me Why (P.O.D.)
What do you think of your best friend?
Glory Train (77s)
What do you think of the person you like?
Solution (Jonah33)
What is your life story?
Jenny was a friend of mine (The Killers)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Bliss Tearing Eyes (Dead Poetic)
What do you think when you see the person you like?
Leaving So Soon? (Keane)
What do your parents think of you?
Andy, You're a Star (The Killers)
What will you dance to at your wedding?
Believe Me Natalie (The Killers)
What will they play at your funeral?
Jimmy Olsen Blues (Spin Doctors)
What is your hobby/interest?
Watching the sunrise in an old raincoat (Mark Harmon/Mike Roe)
What is your biggest secret?
It's On (Superchick)
What do you think of your friends?
You still love me (77s)
What's the worst thing that could happen?
Me (Plumb)
How will you die?
Losing Hope (Jack Johnson)
What is the one thing you regret?
Flake (Jack Johnson)
What makes you laugh?
Independence Day (White Heart)
What makes you cry?
She Bop (Cyndi Lauper)
Will you ever get married?
This is the last time (keane)
What scares you the most?
Shape of my heart (Sting)
Does anyone like you?
U Started it (Gwen Stefani)
If you could go back in time, what would you change?
Two Princes (Spin Doctors)
What hurts right now?
Shine on you crazy diamond (Viktor Krauss)
What will you post this as?
Rainy Monday (Shiny Toy Guns)
What do you think about your job?
New (No Doubt)
How do you feel about the future of our country?
Better Off (Theory of a Deadman)
If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
Gimme that Wine (Labert, Hendricks and Ross)
Gabriela (Whiteheart)
Space Cowgirl (Mike Roe & Mark Harmon)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
It's been awhile...
Been very busy lately... but here's a few more pictures for now till I can take some time to write.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Teacher says ever time a bell rings a baby has to pee
Diapers are a touchy subject these days... what part of the eco system do you destroy? If you go with disposible diapers, they are not so disposible and you are creating a problem in our landfills and water supply. If you go with cloth diapers you are wasting water and electricity by drying them. There are some middle ground areas where you can use a flushable insert in a cloth diaper and you can get better disposible diapers that will be nicer to our landfills.
One alternative is of pavlovian nature. Yep, you too can train your kid to urnate at the drop of a sound.
My wife, and sometime me as well, attend a "mommy and me" class that the birth center hosts. They talk about subjects that concern parents and teach them how to be better at what they are already doing. Mothers also exchange tips and sometimes milk if some are producing extra. One mother at this place is very militant when it comes to babies. She is not afraid to let you know how you should raise your child. She has a method and it should work on every child. At just days old you figure out when you child is peeing and you make a noise whenever he/she does it. For example pisssssst. Eventually the child assoicates the sound with the act and then you can take your child to the bathroom, hold them over a receptical and make the noise and the child will do the act. Yep, you too can have your very own dog. This woman claims that at 11 weeks she was able to train her child to hold his urine and only pee when she made the noise. She says that we are the only country in the world that teaches our children to soil themselves and then spend months training them not to. By turning your child into a pavlovian dog you can save on diapers and save our planet.
I'm not sure I want my child to trained in such a way. What will happen if some one calls my child over to them and wants to keep on the down low? "Pssst, come here I have something to tell you." My child then proceeds to pee her pants and doesn't know why. I'm sure if other kids find this out they will do their best to make her pee as well... I think I'll stick to destroying the landfills.
One alternative is of pavlovian nature. Yep, you too can train your kid to urnate at the drop of a sound.
My wife, and sometime me as well, attend a "mommy and me" class that the birth center hosts. They talk about subjects that concern parents and teach them how to be better at what they are already doing. Mothers also exchange tips and sometimes milk if some are producing extra. One mother at this place is very militant when it comes to babies. She is not afraid to let you know how you should raise your child. She has a method and it should work on every child. At just days old you figure out when you child is peeing and you make a noise whenever he/she does it. For example pisssssst. Eventually the child assoicates the sound with the act and then you can take your child to the bathroom, hold them over a receptical and make the noise and the child will do the act. Yep, you too can have your very own dog. This woman claims that at 11 weeks she was able to train her child to hold his urine and only pee when she made the noise. She says that we are the only country in the world that teaches our children to soil themselves and then spend months training them not to. By turning your child into a pavlovian dog you can save on diapers and save our planet.
I'm not sure I want my child to trained in such a way. What will happen if some one calls my child over to them and wants to keep on the down low? "Pssst, come here I have something to tell you." My child then proceeds to pee her pants and doesn't know why. I'm sure if other kids find this out they will do their best to make her pee as well... I think I'll stick to destroying the landfills.
Obsessed about shoes
I'm one of those people who doesn't think too much about germs and the like. I'm about as close to a bachelor as can be when it comes to things always being clean. I don't mind a little dust here and there. I will step over the piles of clothes around the room and I memorize the holes so that I can do it even the dark. I don't know if you can call that a skill but I think I would.
My wife on the other hand wants things uber clean. If something of potential dirty touches something that is considered clean, the clean item is immediately considered fully dirty and much be washed thoroughly. For instance while moving a bike the bike tire barely touches a blanket which is hanging up on the drying rack. The whole blank needed to be washed despite the fact that the bike tire wasn't even wet or had any debris on it. If I leave something on the floor in the corner of the room, far removed from any "normal" traffic pattern, she will do her best to walk over to said corner and step on the item. It's like she's got a magnet in her foot for these things. If I drop a sharp object into a shag like carpet and I can't find it I just call my wife over with her bare feet as she is likely to find it very quickly.
The same is true of our floors. There is a sign on the door which reads:
New baby inside.
Over protective new parents.
Please remove all outside foot gear. :)
Thanks
Sanity should resume shortly.
Most people read this and chuckle... others seem to ignore it... I think it needs to be more to the point so that my wife doesn't flip out. Something perhaps that says:
REMOVE YOUR SHOES OR FACE THE WRATH.
Sanity should resume shortly, but not guaranteed to.
So that when a repair man comes over to look at the dryer he should know that he really should remove his shoes and that the sign on the door is not just for would be friends who stop by. Whenever one of them comes over and passes over the invisible threshold that is near the bench by the front door, my wifes soul dies a little inside and it's replaced by rage. After the repair man leaves all floors must be swept and mopped and the rug needs to be taken to the laundry mat to be washed as it does not fit in our washing machine. No one is allowed to touch the rug until it is clean. Especially ALT. So this week sometime we will be camping out at the local laundry mat to watch the spin cycle... Later this week I think she'll actually be taping a visible threshold so that would be dirt trackers will know when they have taken the holy grail past the seal.
The front door is another sore subject. Last year when my wife left for Alaska she came back to her lavender bag and it had moths larva, which she loving refers to them as moth maggots, in it. Now anytime the front door is open and any lights are on, she freaks out that a moth is going to come in and eat her yarn. I just say we get screen door, but what do I know...
I never though I would be one of those parents, one who talks about their child's pooping or farting... but it's the cutest damned thing the world to see ALT make that little o that she makes with her mouth when she's dropping a load into the diaper. However I know she's my kid as she can out gas a trucker on some days.
I'm waiting for a good chuckle from her. She smiles all of the time... she started doing it in her sleep within the first week of life. She's been chuckling in her sleep for about 2 weeks now, but I have yet to see it when she's awake. I get some cooing, which is another thing I was waiting for and I'm glad to hear it, but when is a good laugh coming?
My wife on the other hand wants things uber clean. If something of potential dirty touches something that is considered clean, the clean item is immediately considered fully dirty and much be washed thoroughly. For instance while moving a bike the bike tire barely touches a blanket which is hanging up on the drying rack. The whole blank needed to be washed despite the fact that the bike tire wasn't even wet or had any debris on it. If I leave something on the floor in the corner of the room, far removed from any "normal" traffic pattern, she will do her best to walk over to said corner and step on the item. It's like she's got a magnet in her foot for these things. If I drop a sharp object into a shag like carpet and I can't find it I just call my wife over with her bare feet as she is likely to find it very quickly.
The same is true of our floors. There is a sign on the door which reads:
New baby inside.
Over protective new parents.
Please remove all outside foot gear. :)
Thanks
Sanity should resume shortly.
Most people read this and chuckle... others seem to ignore it... I think it needs to be more to the point so that my wife doesn't flip out. Something perhaps that says:
REMOVE YOUR SHOES OR FACE THE WRATH.
Sanity should resume shortly, but not guaranteed to.
So that when a repair man comes over to look at the dryer he should know that he really should remove his shoes and that the sign on the door is not just for would be friends who stop by. Whenever one of them comes over and passes over the invisible threshold that is near the bench by the front door, my wifes soul dies a little inside and it's replaced by rage. After the repair man leaves all floors must be swept and mopped and the rug needs to be taken to the laundry mat to be washed as it does not fit in our washing machine. No one is allowed to touch the rug until it is clean. Especially ALT. So this week sometime we will be camping out at the local laundry mat to watch the spin cycle... Later this week I think she'll actually be taping a visible threshold so that would be dirt trackers will know when they have taken the holy grail past the seal.
The front door is another sore subject. Last year when my wife left for Alaska she came back to her lavender bag and it had moths larva, which she loving refers to them as moth maggots, in it. Now anytime the front door is open and any lights are on, she freaks out that a moth is going to come in and eat her yarn. I just say we get screen door, but what do I know...
I never though I would be one of those parents, one who talks about their child's pooping or farting... but it's the cutest damned thing the world to see ALT make that little o that she makes with her mouth when she's dropping a load into the diaper. However I know she's my kid as she can out gas a trucker on some days.
I'm waiting for a good chuckle from her. She smiles all of the time... she started doing it in her sleep within the first week of life. She's been chuckling in her sleep for about 2 weeks now, but I have yet to see it when she's awake. I get some cooing, which is another thing I was waiting for and I'm glad to hear it, but when is a good laugh coming?
Monday, August 18, 2008
Who does number 2 work for?
Nothing really new to talk about. She mostly just eats, sleeps and poops in various orders.
I'm going to talk about poop now. Hey, it's my kid and I'm allowed. I'll send my 25 year old self over to slap me after I'm done.
There was the ninja poop. She just sat there... didn't make any noise and suddenly when the doctor when to check her back it was there!
There was the scare the fatman poop. We were over helping a friend move and she was on the couch and just let her rip and the diaper couldn't contain it. Scarred the Fatman for life.
There was the poop in my mouf. You ever see riding in cars with boys? Well, when you change her diaper she tends to pull her legs in tight like she did in the womb and she'll get her feet in poop. Sometimes you can't see it all... all I'm saying is that her edible toes are not as tasty when you get some poo in you mouth. Ask A.L.T's mom, she'll tell you.
Then there are the faces... when she makes a perfect O with her mouth, you know what's happening... check out some of the new pictures in the galery to see some of the better faces she makes.
I'm going to talk about poop now. Hey, it's my kid and I'm allowed. I'll send my 25 year old self over to slap me after I'm done.
There was the ninja poop. She just sat there... didn't make any noise and suddenly when the doctor when to check her back it was there!
There was the scare the fatman poop. We were over helping a friend move and she was on the couch and just let her rip and the diaper couldn't contain it. Scarred the Fatman for life.
There was the poop in my mouf. You ever see riding in cars with boys? Well, when you change her diaper she tends to pull her legs in tight like she did in the womb and she'll get her feet in poop. Sometimes you can't see it all... all I'm saying is that her edible toes are not as tasty when you get some poo in you mouth. Ask A.L.T's mom, she'll tell you.
Then there are the faces... when she makes a perfect O with her mouth, you know what's happening... check out some of the new pictures in the galery to see some of the better faces she makes.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Like going to the store with a rock star
Before ALT was born we had a small, very small mind you, fear that our kid might be an ugly kid. You know that no one will tell you to your face that your kid has a great face for radio. They will simply smile and just ask her name and move on with their day and secretly screaming in their head. However, it has come to my attention that I have a very cute kid. It's not just a face that a mother could love, but that everyone who sees her wants to know more about her.
What is with the question of the birth weight? Everyone wants to know what she was born at to compare to the hundreds of other people that the person knows and then proceed to tell you how much their kids weighed or how much their fat uncle weighed when he was born... etc. It just seems odd to compare such a thing. Considering that c-sections are the norm these days, it really doesn't matter how much the kid weighed because they were sliced right out and didn't have to go through the "ring of fire" like they used to.
So yesterday we went to the grocery store to get diapers and water. 30 minutes later we leave because everyone wanted to see ALT and tell us about their story. This is fine and I really enjoy the fact that we have a rock star for a daughter. Just to compare. I had to go to another store to get 3 things for dinner prep and I left mom and ALT in the car while I ran in... 3 minutes. This must be what it's like to be famous or at least being related to someone who's famous :)
What is with the question of the birth weight? Everyone wants to know what she was born at to compare to the hundreds of other people that the person knows and then proceed to tell you how much their kids weighed or how much their fat uncle weighed when he was born... etc. It just seems odd to compare such a thing. Considering that c-sections are the norm these days, it really doesn't matter how much the kid weighed because they were sliced right out and didn't have to go through the "ring of fire" like they used to.
So yesterday we went to the grocery store to get diapers and water. 30 minutes later we leave because everyone wanted to see ALT and tell us about their story. This is fine and I really enjoy the fact that we have a rock star for a daughter. Just to compare. I had to go to another store to get 3 things for dinner prep and I left mom and ALT in the car while I ran in... 3 minutes. This must be what it's like to be famous or at least being related to someone who's famous :)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Quiet
All is quiet for a change. No more poking every day, no more taking her to get looked at and measured every morning. The Jaundice has passed and we are trying to finally take it easy. As I write, my two babies are sleeping on the bed.
Yesterday we went to costco to get some supplies and I wore a sling with ALT against my chest. This woman stops and points at us and says "SUN!". That was all. Not, "Aw what a cute baby, she's a little jaundice isn't she?", or "Oh wow, are you getting her some sun for that color of her?". Nope, just "SUN!". I said, "excuse me?" Mostly because I thought she said "Son" and was pointing at me. She then says "You need to get that baby into the sun she's got Jaundice". To which I pretty much said "thanks" and my wife tried to say more to her about the fact that we have been... I swear some people.
Yesterday we went to costco to get some supplies and I wore a sling with ALT against my chest. This woman stops and points at us and says "SUN!". That was all. Not, "Aw what a cute baby, she's a little jaundice isn't she?", or "Oh wow, are you getting her some sun for that color of her?". Nope, just "SUN!". I said, "excuse me?" Mostly because I thought she said "Son" and was pointing at me. She then says "You need to get that baby into the sun she's got Jaundice". To which I pretty much said "thanks" and my wife tried to say more to her about the fact that we have been... I swear some people.
Monday, July 21, 2008
She can no longer give me crap
So I've mentioned before the fact that I tried to change ALT's diaper and got a handful. Well my wife gave me a bunch of crap for crying out loud when it occurred. Well yesterday she screamed like a girl when ALT did it again, but this time to her :)
Update on biliruben. Still at the same level as before... got poked a few more times again this weekend... So far she's been poked the same number of times that she is days old... lab that took it on Saturday took to long to process so we had to go in again on Sunday to get another vial drawn... going to go in tomorrow to do it yet again... at some point she becomes 10 days old and people stop worring about it... for now she's sleeping in her tanning bed.
More pictures to come
Update on biliruben. Still at the same level as before... got poked a few more times again this weekend... So far she's been poked the same number of times that she is days old... lab that took it on Saturday took to long to process so we had to go in again on Sunday to get another vial drawn... going to go in tomorrow to do it yet again... at some point she becomes 10 days old and people stop worring about it... for now she's sleeping in her tanning bed.
More pictures to come
Friday, July 18, 2008
Blue Light Special
I love this kid to death. It's a good thing too...
24 hour check in with the pediatrician... I'm beginning to hate doctors more and more... They give you quite bit of crap for having done things not in a hospital. They tend to not believe you when you tell them that she was born at 4:51PM and by 10:30PM she was sleeping at home. They also want to run a bunch of tests. You see the Tater Jeans have a tendency to make they kid yellow for the first couple of days. You put the kid in the burger warmer and all is well after that. Well because ALT had a little bruising when she was born she started to turn a little squash colored. This of course freaked out the new resident who immediately ordered that we get some labs done in the basement of the hospital. So we head down there.
Well for this test to be performed we needed to place ALT on the table face down and let a tech gather the blood after poking her in the foot. This means that someone had to hold her there... mom can't see her own daughter in pain so it's up to me. I don't handle blood well. It's a wonder to me how on God's green earth I actually survived the birth. Well here I am holding my 1.5 day old girl by the tiny hand and watching as they prick and scoop blood from her foot. It doesn't take long, but mom and dad seem more affected by the event than ALT does. She promptly falls a sleep. The test comes back that the billyruben is a little high, but not dangerous and to take her home and put her in indirect sunlight and feed her more breast milk. (bring on the boob! as ALT's mom would say) Oh and come back tomorrow to do the same test to see if it's going up or down.
We bring her home and put her by the window. That night daddy gets an adventure in diaper changing. ALT has a wet diaper and I open the diaper. Clean up and after wiping the anus I get a wonderful surprise, yep she's pooping. That wouldn't be so bad, but I don't have a diaper under her any more. As I'm being instructed to wipe it up with a wipe cloth she stops and I wait and she farts and I yell "good lord!" to which sends mommy into tears of laughter. More poop and I'm struggling with clean up. Mommy has to go to the bathroom to change her pants as she has managed to pee herself from laughing.
Next day and we go to the lab for a blood draw. This time a green tech gets to do the work. She manages to take 5 minutes which feels like 20 for the father who hates blood and is trying to keep his daughter from crying too hard. I'm starting to pass out and I'm trying to keep from just grabbing the kid and running out the door. Finally she wraps it up and we get to leave. I'm pissed because that shouldn't have sucked so much. They had to milk the foot for a while to get stuff and I hoped that there was enough blood for the test. We go off to the birth center to check in with the nurse there as she has a little more paper work to do.
After the visit with the nurse at the birth center, which is sooooooo much better than the crap at the peds office, we get a message from the peds office that we need to come in. Turns out that they took too long to get the blood and so it had started to clot. This means we would need to prick her again. The doctor wants it right this time so she asks for a full draw from a vein this time... Down at the lab they sense my fear and frustration. This time they let the pro do the work. In and out in 30 seconds. I'm relived and pass out in the lobby afterwards anyway. We wait.. it's still too high, but the doctor doesn't think it's a real problem. Sets up a home treatment with a billy blanket and has it delivered to the house.
We go home, put her in the sunlight again for awhile... now she sits here next to me under a blue light blanket, much like a tanning bed... I'm new at this parenting thing... I'm not sure how any of you mothers and fathers did it with us... this is just crap... I know they joys are coming, but so far... I'm not impressed with doctor care.
24 hour check in with the pediatrician... I'm beginning to hate doctors more and more... They give you quite bit of crap for having done things not in a hospital. They tend to not believe you when you tell them that she was born at 4:51PM and by 10:30PM she was sleeping at home. They also want to run a bunch of tests. You see the Tater Jeans have a tendency to make they kid yellow for the first couple of days. You put the kid in the burger warmer and all is well after that. Well because ALT had a little bruising when she was born she started to turn a little squash colored. This of course freaked out the new resident who immediately ordered that we get some labs done in the basement of the hospital. So we head down there.
Well for this test to be performed we needed to place ALT on the table face down and let a tech gather the blood after poking her in the foot. This means that someone had to hold her there... mom can't see her own daughter in pain so it's up to me. I don't handle blood well. It's a wonder to me how on God's green earth I actually survived the birth. Well here I am holding my 1.5 day old girl by the tiny hand and watching as they prick and scoop blood from her foot. It doesn't take long, but mom and dad seem more affected by the event than ALT does. She promptly falls a sleep. The test comes back that the billyruben is a little high, but not dangerous and to take her home and put her in indirect sunlight and feed her more breast milk. (bring on the boob! as ALT's mom would say) Oh and come back tomorrow to do the same test to see if it's going up or down.
We bring her home and put her by the window. That night daddy gets an adventure in diaper changing. ALT has a wet diaper and I open the diaper. Clean up and after wiping the anus I get a wonderful surprise, yep she's pooping. That wouldn't be so bad, but I don't have a diaper under her any more. As I'm being instructed to wipe it up with a wipe cloth she stops and I wait and she farts and I yell "good lord!" to which sends mommy into tears of laughter. More poop and I'm struggling with clean up. Mommy has to go to the bathroom to change her pants as she has managed to pee herself from laughing.
Next day and we go to the lab for a blood draw. This time a green tech gets to do the work. She manages to take 5 minutes which feels like 20 for the father who hates blood and is trying to keep his daughter from crying too hard. I'm starting to pass out and I'm trying to keep from just grabbing the kid and running out the door. Finally she wraps it up and we get to leave. I'm pissed because that shouldn't have sucked so much. They had to milk the foot for a while to get stuff and I hoped that there was enough blood for the test. We go off to the birth center to check in with the nurse there as she has a little more paper work to do.
After the visit with the nurse at the birth center, which is sooooooo much better than the crap at the peds office, we get a message from the peds office that we need to come in. Turns out that they took too long to get the blood and so it had started to clot. This means we would need to prick her again. The doctor wants it right this time so she asks for a full draw from a vein this time... Down at the lab they sense my fear and frustration. This time they let the pro do the work. In and out in 30 seconds. I'm relived and pass out in the lobby afterwards anyway. We wait.. it's still too high, but the doctor doesn't think it's a real problem. Sets up a home treatment with a billy blanket and has it delivered to the house.
We go home, put her in the sunlight again for awhile... now she sits here next to me under a blue light blanket, much like a tanning bed... I'm new at this parenting thing... I'm not sure how any of you mothers and fathers did it with us... this is just crap... I know they joys are coming, but so far... I'm not impressed with doctor care.
Birth story
A little bit of history before my stream of conscious birth story...
There is only one birth center in Tucson. This is because of insurance reasons. Doctors can't stand the fact that the birth center is there and offering a way to have children without the poking and prodding that doctors do. The birth center is only allowed to have insurance if a group of doctors back them up. There is only one doctor group in Tucson that will support the birth center... they know that they are the only game in town for the birth center so they take some liberties and push the screws down on anything they can because they know they can't go anywhere else and still be able to exist.
60% of women "risk out" of the birth center. This is for any number of reasons. C-section previous births, overweight, underweight, too tall, too short, too cute... etc. For every person that comes in they want to risk them out to put them at the hospital next door where they can use all their fancy technology and gadgets and things. I understand why... they see it as a procedure. Mothers seem to see it as a natural event. Doctors want to have all of the variables defined. Midwives and mothers tend to only care if the baby is here yet or not.
They tried to risk us out. First it was a high fundus measurement. Which turned into a bi-weekly NST (Non stress test, but let me tell you it's anything but for the parents). Every time we did the NST however it came back normal... one time it wasn't going to and we woke the baby up to get the right score... let me tell you that was bull-$&*#. Next they tried to risk us out by lowering the number of weeks that you are "allowed" to be pregnant to have a birth at the birth center.
There's this wheel that they use to determine how many weeks you are pregnant. They start with the last day of your last period and assume you got pregnant then and also base your cycle on a 28 day cycle. Some women have shorter and other have longer... they range from 25-30 so I'm told. Most women don't ovulate during their period, some do it weeks or days after their period... so needless to say the wheel is flawed and can mis-judge the actual age of the child by 2 weeks on either side. This means that women can be pregnant up to 42 weeks on the wheel's chart and still be term. At some point if the birth has gone on too long the placenta can actually get too old and stops functioning properly. The doctors backing up the birth center have been taking the number of weeks based on the wheel down slowly over the years. Started at 42 weeks and then down to 41.5, 41.2 and now is set at 41 even which means that if you go over 41 weeks you "risk out". Most first time mothers will got a little "long" in the birth timeline because of a ton of factors. This was our first and Monday was 41 weeks... so we had to start labor before the day was over. The midwives had to up the ante by scheduling an induction at the hospital on Monday at 5:00PM
So with that said, here's ALT's birth story from my point of view.
Saturday morning it was go in and have Jill sweep the membranes to get labor started
Contractions came and went and finally just went... went back in Sunday morning and had the membranes swept again, this time by sky, who has longer fingers. Got dilated to 3 centimeters. Started the black cohosh regimen, and it was suggested we go home and try the castor oil. We ate breakfast and then tried the castor oil and took an hour nap... suddenly up and having faucet butt.. contractions! yeah... pooping.... booooo.
Went to go get the water broken again... this time she was checked and moved to 5 centimeters. Decided against breaking the water. Went home and got Chinese food. Contractions all night long! Nothing as of 6 AM though...
Monday - Daddy's B-day
Back in to break the water... this time CeCe was there and she broke the water at about 11:30AM. Nothing seemed to happen for awhile. My mom left to get lunch and some cards to play. We ate lunch and the threat of castor oil came again... by this time we were doing black cohosh every 30 min... we tried some nipple stimulation and smooching... contractions started, very light. My mom came back in the room and started to open the deck of cards. Another contraction... this one hurt a bit more it would seem... need to go to the bathroom it feels like. We both go into the bathroom and another contraction, they are coming within minutes of each other. Got into the shower/tub to clean off and hot water on the back begins the real contractions. Turn it down a bit and keep it flowing. Contraction, after contraction. Water on the back and belly over and over again as rhythmic as a white man can... over and over, contraction after contraction... each one building, no real relief in sight... tunnel vision for the wife on the pain... nurse and midwife distract... I take a breather... come back rhythmic water again and again... contractions getting worse... hour and half passes or so and now we need to check things out. Out of the shower/tub and on to the bed... contractions still coming... hand and knees position seems to be best. Midwife comes and checks finally. This baby is ready to come.. pushing... relief from contractions now... push after push... do you see the head? Yes. Really? No. Pushing Pushing do you see the head? No. Crap! Push, the head shows up. Pushing, more pushing. Flip and pull. Althea breathes and cries... joy. Everyone rushes in, paparazzi everywhere. Daddy and baby bond while placenta takes the same journey as baby. Everyone to the tub! Relax... breathe... back to the bed... breast feed... sigh... best birthday present for me ever!
4:51 she was born. That's 9 minutes before we had that induction appointment... guess we didn't screw up the curve for the birth center. Damned doctors didn't get to "risk us out" like they wanted to.
There is only one birth center in Tucson. This is because of insurance reasons. Doctors can't stand the fact that the birth center is there and offering a way to have children without the poking and prodding that doctors do. The birth center is only allowed to have insurance if a group of doctors back them up. There is only one doctor group in Tucson that will support the birth center... they know that they are the only game in town for the birth center so they take some liberties and push the screws down on anything they can because they know they can't go anywhere else and still be able to exist.
60% of women "risk out" of the birth center. This is for any number of reasons. C-section previous births, overweight, underweight, too tall, too short, too cute... etc. For every person that comes in they want to risk them out to put them at the hospital next door where they can use all their fancy technology and gadgets and things. I understand why... they see it as a procedure. Mothers seem to see it as a natural event. Doctors want to have all of the variables defined. Midwives and mothers tend to only care if the baby is here yet or not.
They tried to risk us out. First it was a high fundus measurement. Which turned into a bi-weekly NST (Non stress test, but let me tell you it's anything but for the parents). Every time we did the NST however it came back normal... one time it wasn't going to and we woke the baby up to get the right score... let me tell you that was bull-$&*#. Next they tried to risk us out by lowering the number of weeks that you are "allowed" to be pregnant to have a birth at the birth center.
There's this wheel that they use to determine how many weeks you are pregnant. They start with the last day of your last period and assume you got pregnant then and also base your cycle on a 28 day cycle. Some women have shorter and other have longer... they range from 25-30 so I'm told. Most women don't ovulate during their period, some do it weeks or days after their period... so needless to say the wheel is flawed and can mis-judge the actual age of the child by 2 weeks on either side. This means that women can be pregnant up to 42 weeks on the wheel's chart and still be term. At some point if the birth has gone on too long the placenta can actually get too old and stops functioning properly. The doctors backing up the birth center have been taking the number of weeks based on the wheel down slowly over the years. Started at 42 weeks and then down to 41.5, 41.2 and now is set at 41 even which means that if you go over 41 weeks you "risk out". Most first time mothers will got a little "long" in the birth timeline because of a ton of factors. This was our first and Monday was 41 weeks... so we had to start labor before the day was over. The midwives had to up the ante by scheduling an induction at the hospital on Monday at 5:00PM
So with that said, here's ALT's birth story from my point of view.
Saturday morning it was go in and have Jill sweep the membranes to get labor started
Contractions came and went and finally just went... went back in Sunday morning and had the membranes swept again, this time by sky, who has longer fingers. Got dilated to 3 centimeters. Started the black cohosh regimen, and it was suggested we go home and try the castor oil. We ate breakfast and then tried the castor oil and took an hour nap... suddenly up and having faucet butt.. contractions! yeah... pooping.... booooo.
Went to go get the water broken again... this time she was checked and moved to 5 centimeters. Decided against breaking the water. Went home and got Chinese food. Contractions all night long! Nothing as of 6 AM though...
Monday - Daddy's B-day
Back in to break the water... this time CeCe was there and she broke the water at about 11:30AM. Nothing seemed to happen for awhile. My mom left to get lunch and some cards to play. We ate lunch and the threat of castor oil came again... by this time we were doing black cohosh every 30 min... we tried some nipple stimulation and smooching... contractions started, very light. My mom came back in the room and started to open the deck of cards. Another contraction... this one hurt a bit more it would seem... need to go to the bathroom it feels like. We both go into the bathroom and another contraction, they are coming within minutes of each other. Got into the shower/tub to clean off and hot water on the back begins the real contractions. Turn it down a bit and keep it flowing. Contraction, after contraction. Water on the back and belly over and over again as rhythmic as a white man can... over and over, contraction after contraction... each one building, no real relief in sight... tunnel vision for the wife on the pain... nurse and midwife distract... I take a breather... come back rhythmic water again and again... contractions getting worse... hour and half passes or so and now we need to check things out. Out of the shower/tub and on to the bed... contractions still coming... hand and knees position seems to be best. Midwife comes and checks finally. This baby is ready to come.. pushing... relief from contractions now... push after push... do you see the head? Yes. Really? No. Pushing Pushing do you see the head? No. Crap! Push, the head shows up. Pushing, more pushing. Flip and pull. Althea breathes and cries... joy. Everyone rushes in, paparazzi everywhere. Daddy and baby bond while placenta takes the same journey as baby. Everyone to the tub! Relax... breathe... back to the bed... breast feed... sigh... best birthday present for me ever!
4:51 she was born. That's 9 minutes before we had that induction appointment... guess we didn't screw up the curve for the birth center. Damned doctors didn't get to "risk us out" like they wanted to.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Pictures now... story later... needs sleep
I'm working on the birth story, but need to focus elsewhere for now. So here's some pictures to hold you over.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Get that pillow out of my ass
Okay so I understand the whole nesting thing, it's hormones and preparing for the baby. I get comfort and wanting to relieve your body from the massive belly that has formed in just a few short months. However I don't appreciate the whole nest of pillows and then using one to go between your legs as you are on your side and then cuddling with your husband. Get that pillow out of my ass.
There is nothing like waking up at 2:00AM with your glowing wife because she has to get up to pee to find that you have a pillow in your ass that you didn't ask for.
My Wife is due any minute now and all the probing and poking, that doctors sometimes do, just make me want to punch someone. Also, I don't want to have my doctor hopped on benadryl, which she has been for almost a month now, and then having her look at charts and things. It just doesn't make me feel comfortable that she makes life and death decisions with a fog in her head.
On a lighter note... we saw hair on the sonagram last week. I'm not sure that's my kid as we are all bald till about the age of 2 :)
There is nothing like waking up at 2:00AM with your glowing wife because she has to get up to pee to find that you have a pillow in your ass that you didn't ask for.
My Wife is due any minute now and all the probing and poking, that doctors sometimes do, just make me want to punch someone. Also, I don't want to have my doctor hopped on benadryl, which she has been for almost a month now, and then having her look at charts and things. It just doesn't make me feel comfortable that she makes life and death decisions with a fog in her head.
On a lighter note... we saw hair on the sonagram last week. I'm not sure that's my kid as we are all bald till about the age of 2 :)
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
ALT Text
So we are expecting a kid and I wanted a place to put stuff that's interesting to me related to my new daughter A.L.T. Thus the title A.L.T. Text. Geek humor I know... but that's me.
All is well on the baby front. We are still cooking at 300 degrees and waiting for the timer to go off. Last night the oven started to practicing what it will do in just a few days and we're getting excited.
So far she likes to move around 10:30 which is right after bed time (well at least what we plan to be our bed time). She moves during the day too about every 2 hours or so. She apparently likes to stop moving as soon as I put my hand on mommy's belly. She gets excited around 5:00 when I come home. The wife thinks it's because she knows I'm coming home and loves to hear me. I think it's because she knows I do the cooking and that mommy will get fed soon :)
All is well on the baby front. We are still cooking at 300 degrees and waiting for the timer to go off. Last night the oven started to practicing what it will do in just a few days and we're getting excited.
So far she likes to move around 10:30 which is right after bed time (well at least what we plan to be our bed time). She moves during the day too about every 2 hours or so. She apparently likes to stop moving as soon as I put my hand on mommy's belly. She gets excited around 5:00 when I come home. The wife thinks it's because she knows I'm coming home and loves to hear me. I think it's because she knows I do the cooking and that mommy will get fed soon :)
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