Obsessed about shoes

I'm one of those people who doesn't think too much about germs and the like. I'm about as close to a bachelor as can be when it comes to things always being clean. I don't mind a little dust here and there. I will step over the piles of clothes around the room and I memorize the holes so that I can do it even the dark. I don't know if you can call that a skill but I think I would.

My wife on the other hand wants things uber clean. If something of potential dirty touches something that is considered clean, the clean item is immediately considered fully dirty and much be washed thoroughly. For instance while moving a bike the bike tire barely touches a blanket which is hanging up on the drying rack. The whole blank needed to be washed despite the fact that the bike tire wasn't even wet or had any debris on it. If I leave something on the floor in the corner of the room, far removed from any "normal" traffic pattern, she will do her best to walk over to said corner and step on the item. It's like she's got a magnet in her foot for these things. If I drop a sharp object into a shag like carpet and I can't find it I just call my wife over with her bare feet as she is likely to find it very quickly.

The same is true of our floors. There is a sign on the door which reads:
New baby inside.
Over protective new parents.
Please remove all outside foot gear. :)
Thanks
Sanity should resume shortly.

Most people read this and chuckle... others seem to ignore it... I think it needs to be more to the point so that my wife doesn't flip out. Something perhaps that says:
REMOVE YOUR SHOES OR FACE THE WRATH.
Sanity should resume shortly, but not guaranteed to.
So that when a repair man comes over to look at the dryer he should know that he really should remove his shoes and that the sign on the door is not just for would be friends who stop by. Whenever one of them comes over and passes over the invisible threshold that is near the bench by the front door, my wifes soul dies a little inside and it's replaced by rage. After the repair man leaves all floors must be swept and mopped and the rug needs to be taken to the laundry mat to be washed as it does not fit in our washing machine. No one is allowed to touch the rug until it is clean. Especially ALT. So this week sometime we will be camping out at the local laundry mat to watch the spin cycle... Later this week I think she'll actually be taping a visible threshold so that would be dirt trackers will know when they have taken the holy grail past the seal.

The front door is another sore subject. Last year when my wife left for Alaska she came back to her lavender bag and it had moths larva, which she loving refers to them as moth maggots, in it. Now anytime the front door is open and any lights are on, she freaks out that a moth is going to come in and eat her yarn. I just say we get screen door, but what do I know...

I never though I would be one of those parents, one who talks about their child's pooping or farting... but it's the cutest damned thing the world to see ALT make that little o that she makes with her mouth when she's dropping a load into the diaper. However I know she's my kid as she can out gas a trucker on some days.

I'm waiting for a good chuckle from her. She smiles all of the time... she started doing it in her sleep within the first week of life. She's been chuckling in her sleep for about 2 weeks now, but I have yet to see it when she's awake. I get some cooing, which is another thing I was waiting for and I'm glad to hear it, but when is a good laugh coming?